Stress Education Center - Dstress.com Newsletter
April, 2001 Volume VII
"Dedicated to serving by providing information, products, and services to create awareness and then offer control of stress and the process of change."

In this issue:

1. Introduction and Welcome

2. Contests and give-aways

3. Article: Communication and Stress: The Art of Listening

4. Reference/Link: Chronic Pain and stress

5. FAQ - Question of the Month (Hiring and Retention Articles)

6. Product of the Month: Stress Management for Chronic Pain

7. Stress Management Tip of the Month: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

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1. Introduction of the Stress Education Center's - Dstress.com Newsletter

Welcome to the April, 2001 issue of this monthly e-zine. The purpose in providing this newsletter is to offer information about stress and possible solutions to managing stress and change. Your input is encouraged. This will be a forum for answering questions/concerns, offering suggestions, motivating you and your clients to develop and practice a strategy of self-care that includes regular stress management.

The goal is to enhance your quality of life, increase your productivity, and offer tested fun strategies that will give you more time and energy.

Please read the newsletter and provide feedback. This feedback will help to shape the form and content for future editions. Thank you in advance for your assistance in the development process.

L. John Mason, Ph.D.

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2. Contests and Give-aways:

A.) The best suggestion for a "Spring-time" stress management strategy will win free stress management audio tape from the Stress Education Center's tape series.

B.) I would also like your assistance. I would like to interview some CEO's, Presidents, or Executive Leaders of your companies regarding information for future newsletters. (Continued from the last newsletter.)

I would like to ask them about their strategies for:

• hiring and training winners.
• retaining key personnel (retention strategies)
• managing change
• management development programs
• health care cost containment strategies

the keys to leadership that they regularly use

As a ROI (Return On Investment) for the time used for this interview, all executives will be offered either a free: on-line stress management course or executive assessments package (Advanced DISC and PIA&V). (Valued at $200-$350)

If you can introduce me to these people with their names, titles, email, and telephone, I would appreciate your introduction. Thank you in advance.

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3. Article: Communication and Stress

This is the first of a series of contributions regarding the impact of communication on organizational and personal stress. (Your input is welcome. Examples of issues and solutions are both requested.)

Remember, the things that are the most stressful are the things that you care the most about but can not control!

The most important thing that you can remember about effective communication relates to the least noisy communication technique there is... This extremely important technique, which requires practice, is the skill of listening! Old joke: "Why do you have two ears and only one mouth?" Answer: "Because you are supposed to listen twice as much!"

Really listening is more difficult that than it appears. In communication, the engaged parties have to really want to communicate. They must find time to communicate. They must reduce or eliminate distractions. They must agree to allow the speaker to speak, without interruption, if at all possible. An engaged listener is involved in "active listening." Making eye contact with the speaker and acknowledgment for the speaker are a must! Clear your mind of extra thoughts, including what you answer/response will be.
Ask clarifying questions. Restate the main points. AND, No put-downs!

Additionally, it is great when you can offer to relate to the emotional expressions that have been shared with you relating your own past experience. (This is to establish rapport.) You do not have to agree but you do have to really listen to the speaker's feelings. Even "body language" is a huge part of communication. Communication experts often say that the words are only about 10% of the communication. Body language, tones of voice, listening skills, even observing attitudes are by far the majority of a communication.

Have you ever felt disrespected when your partner in the communication did not make eye contact with you as you spoke or they appear very distracted by their own internal processing. This can create barriers to good communication.

Timing is everything! Do not launch into an important communication without determining that the time is mutually convenient. Too many important communications fall apart when one party can not wait for an appropriate time and place for information to be conveyed. A lot can get lost or can be unappreciated, so setting the scene is very important. You may even need to request that no calls or interruptions will interfere with a truly significant communication. Yelling, swearing, and blaming build walls that are difficult to effectively communicate through.

Many times your partner does not really want to participate! This is stressful and often beyond your control. If it is really important to you, you must negotiate to find the best time and place to deal with a difficult subject. Overcoming denial and resistance is a real test and has to be done masterfully. Many times a therapist, trained mediator, or communication coach must help referee an important communication in difficult situations.

Practice listening, without interrupting!

In future newsletters we will examine other factors related to increasing your ability to be effective in communication. Your experiences and your questions will be appreciated. More in the future.....

Along the way, do not forget to take good care of yourself!

Good Health!
L. John Mason, Ph.D.

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4. Reference/Link: Stress and Chronic pain....Article

Which came first the pain or the stress that makes the pain? People who have been injured are stressed out. High levels of stress and anxiety slow or prevent the healing process from occurring. Frustration, depression, and anxiety can actually intensify pain. For twenty years, I have worked with patients who were medically referred for chronic pain. Included are: headaches, neckaches, back pain, peripheral pain, joint pains, etc. Many times stress management and biofeedback can reduce the source of the pain. Sometimes these procedures can eliminate the pain, but can minimize the intensity or duration of the pain. Less pain is better!

You may know someone who wants to do something positive to get back in control of their lives by working to minimize, if not, eliminate their pain. Perhaps they would benefit from the article on management chronic pain at the Stress Education Center website.

I hope that these articles will be of service to you or your clients.

Please e-mail your suggestions for references and links available on the www.

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5. FAQ - Question of the Month

Hiring and Retention Articles

I received a query this month regarding the timing of the release of the articles on hiring and retention strategies. These are major organizational stresses. The surveys are not yet complete. I will be compiling the information in the next few weeks and should be able to publish these articles within the next month. In fact, I will include these materials in the next newsletters as available.

I will be writing more about this in future newsletters.

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6. Product of the Month:

Stress Management for Chronic Pain # 202

Minimize Back Pain, Headaches, etc.!

Two great guided relaxations are available. These are techniques that have been tested and used since the originals were developed in 1978. These have been refined and have assisted thousands of pain patients.

Please view the Audio Progarms page for more information.

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7. Stress Management Tip of the Month:

You have heard, "Don't sweat the small stuff!" Easier said than done.

When you are anxious and stressed, stop and ask yourself one important question.

Will this problem/challenge matter one year from now?

Will you still remember this situation? Will you still be dealing with this concern if you do not handle it now? Most of the time your answer will be that it is not important enough to be involved one year from now. If that is the case, then do not let this event get to you as if you were in a life or death situation.

Being that this is April... If you do not handle your taxes by the 15th, you will still be concerned or dealing with it one year from now. So deal with it. But if you are stressed because you could not get to the dry cleaners because of traffic after work, take it easy, this is NOT life threatening and not worth having physical or emotional symptoms over. Even disagreements with your boss or your family will probably not be remembered in one year, so do not over respond. Let it go! And learn to relax...

Try this. It can really work well for you.