Stress Education Center - Dstress.com Newsletter

"Dedicated to serving by providing information, products, and services to create awareness and then offer control of stress and the process of change."

In this issue:

1. Introduction and Welcome

2. Case Study in Stress: Managing the Band

3. Stress Management Tip of the Month

4. Submitted Article: 5 Keys to Better Sleep by Patricia Wagner

5. Service of the Month: Coaching For Support and Accountability

6. Thank you

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1. Introduction of the Stress Education Center's - Dstress.com Newsletter

A special thank you to all the new readers who have signed up to receive our newsletter. This is our 25th newsletter and I hope that it will be of service to you.

A special thank you to Patricia Wagner for submitting her article on 5 Keys to Better Sleep.

Barbara's update, her CA-125 was holding at 13 at her 6th chemotherapy appointment and her side effects post treatment were greatly reduced. Being this far into the process the cumulative effect may be taking a toll for she has more fatigue and is not bouncing back quite quickly. The alternative therapies of acupuncture, supplements, herbs, exercise, relaxation/visualization, and a decent diet have all provided some help and sense that she can participate with some sense of control in this struggle.

Thank you for your positive feedback from last issues section on Zen meditation and the lightness from the article on humor (which was designed to counter balance the difficult information regarding my wife's health of the previous newsletter.)

As always, we really appreciate your feedback and input.

As I requested in the most recent past newsletter:

Stop for a minute in whatever busy place you are, take one deep breath, relax your shoulders, your forehead, and your jaw. Put the news into perspective. React but do not over-react. Be present...enjoy the moment! And please, take good care of yourself.

Thanks for reading

L. John Mason, Ph.D.

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2. Managing the Band:

Organizations are often difficult to manage. Managing an organization can be stressful! Being a stress management expert does not always lessen the stress of managing an organization.

Case study:

Obviously my life is not difficult or challenging enough, so I have taken on another job. I am sure that many of you have found yourself in this position. An organization, work group, non-profit service, or family project requires a talented person, like you, to handle a certain task. You know that you have the experience and skills necessary, and you foolishly say "YES." Are you a parent? Have you ever been a parent? Have you had a parent? Well, the role of being a parent means that you take on jobs that you almost always discover turn out to be "mine fields" of stress, time consuming, and largely a waste of your energy. So being an expert, I took on the most pressing, urgent activity that could be dumped upon me, "acting manager" of my son's rock band.

A challenge or blatant stupidity or loving parental act?... no clear definition could fit.

In an organization, managing people with different motivations and agendas is always challenging. With experience and skill you can follow the best path into the "meat grinder" of management and even if the project turns out well, you can still feel like you were run over be a steam roller. (Modern steam rollers do not use steam any more, they usually are powered by diesel.) So as I write this article, as an expert on stress management, I feel flattened, completely deflated.

So ShakedownFunk.com which includes my son and 5 other high school musicians, asked me to help promote their new demo CD and maybe get them a few shows. Everything is going great. They are getting radio play time. They have a series of increasingly more significant venues that want them to perform. Their fan base is growing in many sectors, because their music is original, fun, and not annoying. All is well.... well would I be writing this article if things were going smoothly... NO!

So over a month ago, a friend of mine suggested that we get the band to play at a large local street fair that happens weekly as a Summer time activity in the biggest city near us. I contacted the organizers and got the available dates. We were selected to perform from the judging of their CD demo and offered specific dates for the large stage. I was excited! I asked the band, which means all the band members, which of the dates would work for them, their families, and their busy schedules. We agreed on a date, requested that date, and got confirmation of that date. This took over a month. On the day the confirmation came in the mail, which was two days after I sent out a press release to the local radio stations and newspapers, I was told that this time/date was in conflict with a Senior Academic Award Ceremony that had not been made available for public knowledge by our high school. The band has only 5 award winning seniors in their ranks. I smell conflict of interests. The band's "acting manager" assumes that the band will honor its commitment to play this show but.... the president of the school board's musician son is in the band... Good kids... difficult situation. An alternative show date is unavailable. The "acting manager" professional reputation is in grave jeopardy and his stress is rising quickly.

Remember, the things that are the MOST STRESSFUL are the things that you CARE THE MOST ABOUT, but DO NOT HAVE CONTROL over.
(No good deed goes unpunished.)

This happens in business, in families, in relationships, in parenting, in virtually every important thing that you do that interacts with people or situations which you can not control. So the stress management expert is breathing more, getting exercise, creating perspective that this is NOT life threatening, and writing about this trauma to help minimize the stress.

And as the ship sinks slowly beneath the waves, the band played on....

Thanks for listening to a nearly EX-"acting manager."

Have a laugh on me and please take good care of yourself.

SPECIAL AWARD:
The winner of the best how to cope as an "acting band manager" suggestion contest, wins a free demo CD of Shakedown. E-mail your suggestions... and good luck!

Along the way, do not forget to take good care of yourself!

Good Health!
L. John Mason, Ph.D.

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3. Stress Management Tip of the Month

You can not avoid stress. Denial of stress is a great and often used strategy, but it has its limits. Very few people who hide their heads in the sands of denial actually find that they have not been side-swiped when they finally pull up their heads to look around.

Keeping your life in perspective is key. Though life stresses can be very important and challenging to solve, they are usually not life threatening. The drama that we create can escalate these stresses into out-of-control battles. Ask yourself, "will I remember and be dealing with this situation a year from now?" If the issue is so big or important that one year from now it will still be an issue, then get up and deal with it, now! Most of the time your honest response will be that this present concern will not be serious enough to occupy any of your attention next year. So do not be a victim to your own drama.

After you analyze the importance of your situation, gain some perspective by "Being Present." Being present requires that you escape the past memories or the uncertain future to dwell in your body in a positive way. Focusing on a slow deep breath can help you to accomplish this. Several breaths would be better. As you inhale feel the cool air flowing in. Pause for a moment before you exhale. Then exhale, fully and completely. Feel the warm breath that you release. Imagine that it can carry away your stress and tensions. You may even be able to imagine that as you exhale, you can release anxiety or stress increased pain. To slow and deepen your breath will help you to break out of an escalating stress cycle. It offers some control over the way you respond to stress. To become more fully absorbed in this positive activity will offer you a break that creates positive perspective on stress and anxiety. This breath focusing can help to you "being present."

Try it! You will like the benefits....

Also, find things daily to celebrate.

Along the way, do not forget to take good care of yourself!
Good Health!

L. John Mason, Ph.D.

Send me your comments regarding what strategies you believe work for your self-care and how you most benefit from regular self-care practices.

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4. Article: 5 Keys to Better Sleep

Do you have trouble getting a good night's sleep?

What you are about to read may make a huge difference to you future health! Being well rested is essential to our well-being and is a major key in living an energetic lifestyle.

Here are some of the benefits of a good night's sleep:

- You will look and feel your best.

- Relating to others will come easier with enough rest.

- You'll be a safer driver and be less likely to fall asleep at the wheel.

- More alertness and creativity on the job will be a major benefit.

- You'll feel less stressed.

- There'll be an increased ability to fight off illness.

- You'll enjoy life more!

Here are some keys to getting a better night's sleep:

1. Set your body clock.
   
   Choose a bedtime schedule by deciding how many hours of shut-eye you need and try to stick with it. That's because we are all creature of habit.
   
   Try not to oversleep too often because this tends to throw your body clock off. If you are tired, try taking a short nap. However, it should not be longer and about one half an hour because more time than that and you will wind up not being able to fall asleep that night.
   
   
2. Be wise about eating and drinking.
   
   Drinking too much fluid in the late afternoon and evening can cause you to wake up in the middle of the night to trot off to the bathroom. Also consuming food and beverages that contain caffeine before bedtime can cause you to toss and turn for hours. So it would be wise to avoid coffee, tea, soft drinks and chocolate before going to bed. However, a hot non-caffeinated drink can relax you.
   
   
3. Prepare your sleeping environment.
   
   You have control over a number of factors in your sleeping environment that will make or break a good night's sleep.
   
   One of them is the temperature of your bedroom. Adjust the temperature of your bedroom so it's conducive to sleeping. It is usually best to have room a little on the cool side, but be sure you have enough blankets on your bed.
   
   Another environmental issue is the darkness of our bedrooms. Many people prefer sleeping when it's totally dark, so turn off the lights except for night lights.
   
   A key bedroom environment factor is your bed. Purchase the best mattress you can afford since you'll spend a large proportion of your life on it.
   
   Quietness is very important to our rest. Try to keep the noise down. If that's impossible, consider using earplugs.
   
   Play calming music and avoid watching television just before bedtime. Violent scenes can lead to sleeplessness and violent dreams!
   
   Design you bedroom to be a peaceful sanctuary in your home. Separate your work from the bedroom area so your body knows the bedroom is a place to rest - not work.
   
   
4. Prepare yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually for bedtime.
   
   There are a number of steps you can take before going to bed to prepare yourself physically. Slowly stretching before hitting the sack can help you relax. Regular exercise during the day will enhance your ability to fall asleep. Taking a warm bath - not shower - can be helpful too. If you are still tense, a back massage can help you relax. Wear comfortable nonbinding clothing.
   
   Here's the most important thing you can do once you've hit the sack - let go of the day's worries. Bedtime is a bad time to dwell on problems since worry can keep you tossing and turning for hours! I've found that reading the Bible and praying before going to bed is a wonderful way to end the day. Then I can truly relax and lay down my problems. My sleep is much sweeter and so are my dreams!
   
   
5. Seek specialized help if needed.
   
   A medical condition could be preventing you from getting your full rest at night. See your doctor if you have continuing difficulty with falling asleep. Usually it's not wise to take sleeping pills since they can become addictive. They also interfere with the body's own inner sleeping rhythm.

Here are three organizations that offer specialized help:

National Sleep Foundation
http://www.sleepfoundation.org/about.cfm

The American Academy of Sleep Medicine
http://www.aasmnet.org

National Center on Sleep Disorders Research
http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/about/ncsdr/index.htm

The suggestions in this article have been listed to help you get a better night's sleep. Now try putting them into practice and enjoy a more rested and energetic lifestyle.

Pleasant dreams!

Copyright ©2004 by Patricia Wagner

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Patricia Wagner offers informative tips on living a more energetic lifestyle at http://www.a-to-z-wellness.com and through her free "A to Z Health Tips" newsletter. Contact Patricia at wagner.art@verizon.net
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Along the way, do not forget to take good care of yourself!
Be present and enjoy everyday.
Enjoy time with your family and good friends.

Good Health!
L. John Mason, Ph.D.